Open letter/request to Mr. Brad Johnson

2009-06-12T19:33:11.194Z

Dear Sir

It has been apparent of late that you have been down on your luck and seeing hard times, and in turn this has greatly affected the quality of your videos, overall content and production value thereof. The most dire consequence of this is that we here at SOSOE have seen our overall entertainment value drastically diminish, leaving very little but scraps to grab at and ridicule in the way that only we can.

I personally am very concerned with the direction all this is going seeing as if no change of the current status of things occurs, we will be left with sub-par elements to crap all over like the remote viewing and crop circle garbage you have been interested in. Our only wish is to remain limber and in shape as trolls and you are not keeping up your end of the bargain by providing us quality new-age drivel to ridicule.

In the spirit of bringing a remedy to this situation I have prepared some recommendations that you could adopt which would relieve some of the pressure temporarily to give you a chance to gain strength and be back up to providing us with the quality entertainment that we all know you are born to provide. In no particular order I would ask that you do the following:

1-Make an outstanding prediction

You have been pussyfooting around energy waves or whatever and feelings that disclosure will come soon. ENOUGH! Please make a real prediction with some specifics such as a date an hour and why not the minute and seconds that it will happen. And include yourself in it! Don’t say the aliens will want to engage in dialogue with our political leaders...Say that they will come to you and that you will lead humanity into the the new future. I would advise a late date in August, perhaps around the 25th, which leaves you plenty of time to report dark energies of the Illuminati around the 20th and would give you a window for battle with dark psychics in astral somewhere around the 24th. You can then confidently report victory on the 25th but at the price of Disclosure not happening as predicted.

2-Change the look of your living quarters and studio

This has been quite disappointing as well in recent videos: your living room just isn’t funny enough to keep us going on jokes and there is ample space to add key items. I would highly advise you to add a picture of a Unicorn with like a pair of dolphins vaulting over it to the back wall and add some lava-lamps around yourself. Hell if you can spare a little more on décor grab some of those garbage lighted fake crystals Bashar uses. Place the lamps or crystals on either side of yourself for max effect. Keep the fuzzy camera work and the Bob Barker mic though...those are great and quite funny.

3-Change your attire

I didn’t get the memo Brad that “sad bastard basement dweller” was the new “in” look for new-age quacks. You gotta get a bit more creative with your getup to make it somewhat interesting for us to look at. Here are two simple solutions that would go a long way towards improving this situation:

i- Wear a jumpsuit. They are one-size fits all, they are easy to clean and will really give you that war and fuzzy cult togetherness feeling when everyone of your devotees is wearing one. When your cash flow situation improves you can even have a logo printed on them or a title. I think it would be awesome to see "7D Jewawan Godhead Master of All Youtube" over the image of a cobra accross your back.

ii- Grow a Mullet. Seriously. This would be beyond awesome and I would be ready to financially contribute to the creation and upkeep of said Mullet and I'm sure others would as well. We could start some sort of fund where we could pay you an allowance for products and trimmings. Just the combo of the jumpsuit Bob Barker mic and mullet would be so full of win that this alone would provide steady lulz until you can get back on your feet and come up with some higher grade preposterous bullshit for us to ridicule.

4-Get a new soulmate

It's been too long now Brad. I mean the last time you were with a soulmate was way back like 2 weeks ago, so I think it's time to line up the next one. Here are some suggestions that would really amuse us:

i- Druanna Brad my friend stay away from this woman. This high-maintenance attention whore has a wrath, I would imagine, that I could not humanly wish on my worst enemy. But if you do hook up with her remember that she's really insecure about her ginormous arse.

ii- Lilbunnyfufu The tension between you guys was totally hawt. She's a watcher from a secret council, you're a space wizard channeler. But I can't imagine you enduring being called out on all your bullshit for very long.

iii- Tony Although I suspect there's already something brewing there, I think you choosing Tony would make him a very happy little zealot inquisitor. You guys could write a coffee table book on contrails together.

iii- Bessimi If it doesn't work out with Tony then this would be a good choice. And it would show that you do not discriminate against mouth breathers.

iv- JessicaMystic Now I've watched of few of this chick's videos and I can already tell this girl is nucking futz. She's totally delusional just like you like them and believes in the craziest bullshit. She also seems damaged in some way so you know that she'll be freaky in the astral sack.

So these are my recommendations and would sincerely ask that you consider these, dear sir, and us as well brave trolls that want nothing less but the best new-age bullshit to destroy off the face of this planet.

Do it for us Brad.

namaste dear friend

Tab

PS- Just the mullet would be great.

Become a Master Psychic!

2009-04-12T19:09:40.880Z

I was looking around for a good reference on cold reading skills to enhance my reading abilities in poker and found this document which seems to cover all the major aspects of the craft. When you're sitting at a poker table a major part of the game is all about reading what your opponents are broadcasting with their table talk, betting patterns and general play.

Another large part of the game is all about what you broadcast out to them; To novice players it might seem strange that betting patterns and general chit-chat are so important, but pros come to the table with huge memory banks, and constantly cross-reference every move you make to devise strategies and pick spots to exploit weaknesses in your play. If you don't have perfect control over your actions the sharks will pick up your "tells".

A "tell" in poker can be as simple as scratching your nose when you have the the best hand, or as complex as the pro knowing that 3 rounds ago you raised a similar amount from the same table position and based on the hand you showed down at the end, he can put you on a range of starting hand requirements from that position and set a trap. A pro can also start to chat with you, or even look at you for a few seconds, and based on very subtle signs will read you as strong or weak, and be able to fold a big hand where he should have called your bet and paid you off.

I also think that taking our basic "gut instinct" people reading abilities to a more conscious and articulated intellectual level can be an important skill, whether you use it in games like poker or everyday life. For those who have never read about cold reading, you'll find that it's really simplistic and basic. But a seasoned master of these techniques can be very impressive and produce effects that will amaze people into believing that he is a powerful wizard.

And come on, who here doesn't want to be a powerful wizard?

AMIRITE?!?!

Here is the pdf doc:

Tradecraft Cold Reading.pdf

Some refreshing stuff from the Onion

2009-03-20T21:07:23.813Z

and

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/cult_leader_pretty_cool

and

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33384

Why Hello There

2009-03-10T19:46:32.961Z

Just a little post to say hello to you folks. I've been reading a lot of your articles, blogs and whatnot and decided to join up and start to contribute. I'm 29 years old and Canadian. I enjoy playing cards, long walks on the beach and stalking ufo cults on the internets.

Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

TheTabarnac

Tab's Posts - Saviors of Saviors of Earth

Open letter/request to Mr. Brad Johnson

Become a Master Psychic!

Some refreshing stuff from the Onion

Why Hello There