Step Right up Folks!

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Permalink Reply by Tab on June 26, 2009 at 1:43pm

Adronis: Savior of the universe, known reality and beyond

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword by Brad Johnson

1- Brad Johnson: the man and his humble beginnings
2- Brad Johnson on Brad Johnson
3- Brad Johnson and his soul kinship with Bashar
4- A little more about Brad
5- Who is Adronis? Meet Brad Johnson from the future
6- Brad Johnson on Adronis on Brad Johnson
7- Lesson 1: The Izness and how to Iz in it
8- Lesson 2: Crop circles, alien messages created by our collective reality and not guys with wood planks
9- Lesson 3: Adronis discusses why paypal is made of pure light
10- Lesson 4: Be an accelerator too! (just not as fast as Brad of course!)
11- Conclusion by Brad
12- Little more Brad on Brad
13- Brad's thx and acknowledgements (GUESS WHO!)
14- Pics of brad
15- Point-form timeline of Brad Johnson's life on this planet

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Permalink Reply by james_uk on June 26, 2009 at 1:49pm

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword by BRAD JOHNSON

1- BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON
2- BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on Brad JOHNSON
3- BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on Brad JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON
4- BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on Brad JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON
5- BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on Brad JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON on BRAD JOHNSON

Rinse and repeat...............

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Permalink Reply by DeusEx on June 26, 2009 at 2:12pm

Adronis and Me...and also You

Table of Contents
Foreword by Brad Johnson (where he thanks his latest internet soulmate which will be outdated in less than one week)

1. In the beginning there was Brad Johnson - From zero to hero
2. Acceleration: How fast is too fast?
3. Abundance - We all need benjamins. Quick and easy ways to get suckers to give you money
4. Soulmates - Gotta catch them all
5. The Internet - Source of all knowledge and truth
6. Pyramids - The stargate awaits
7. Skeptics - How to keep defeat your enemies by calling them fags and ignoring them
8. Lyra - Adronis confirms that all the information stolen from Alex Collier true
9. Donations - Thanks for supporting my passion i.e. ripping stupid people off

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Permalink Reply by Choshu on June 26, 2009 at 4:51pm

you forgot about the chapter on whoppers VS big macs VS organic/natural whole foods....

or big macs the official food of the accended.



or some shit like that.

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Permalink Reply by Twilight_Child on June 26, 2009 at 5:00pm

Chapter !: Adroniis and breasts- Perving on them and growing them DIY workshop.

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Permalink Reply by DeusEx on June 26, 2009 at 5:28pm

Oh damn, yeah how could I forget one of Brad's most defining things! :P

Chapter 10: The 5th McD - Ascending faster through fast food

Choshu said:

you forgot about the chapter on whoppers VS big macs VS organic/natural whole foods....

or big macs the official food of the accended.



or some shit like that.

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Permalink Reply by DeusEx on June 26, 2009 at 5:29pm

Chapter XXX: Astral sex and remote boob viewing

Twilight_Child said:

Chapter !: Adroniis and breasts- Perving on them and growing them DIY workshop.

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Permalink Reply by Ben on June 26, 2009 at 8:20pm

Resonating Resonance
Written by Brad Johnson and the cat people from Regal 9
CHAPTERS
1. How to dodge responsibility and protect yourself from the scary adult world.
In this chapter, I will teach you how to fool yourself into actually believing that you’re a webpeneur, actor, screenwriter, game designer, cartoonist, or the fastest accelerated psychic in the world (these are examples and please note that the titles ‘webpeneur’ and ‘fastest accelerated psychic in the world’ are already taken)
2. Live Free!
Fuck society, jobs, television, bills, and newspapers. Leave all that modern deceitful baggage behind and enjoy living in nature! This chapter also contains a handy listing of every internet café and Starbucks in Northern America, Canada, and Alaska.
3. How to fake popularity.
This chapter explains to you, in the simplest of terms, how to create multiple accounts on social networks so you can favorite your own postings and give them five star ratings. No-one with an IQ of higher than 90 will see through it, guaranteed!
4. Prophecies.
How to make a prophecy and come up with excuses when it doesn’t come true. This chapter includes copy pasted Wikipedia entries on hundreds of prophecies that didn’t come to pass and the excuses that were made afterwards (including such classics as “wrong date”, “wrong calendar”, and “we weren’t ready yet”).
5. Wordpad, wondrous wordpad
Microsoft Office and spell check are for fagbags. Besides, it sucks having to work hard! Learn how to quickly jolt down an e-book in a few hours so you can move on to something that’s more fun, like making a trailer for your e-book. My tips include: slowing down your voice so it sounds like Don Fontaine’s and adding ridiculously dramatic music stolen from movies and video games.
6. How to recruit watchdogs
Because, really, you need someone who’ll let you get away with murder and is willing to delete posts and accounts of people who start asking difficult questions
7. Steal!
Coming up with original ideas requires talent and hard work! Learn how repeating stuff you found on youtube or Wikipedia makes you an expert on any given subject.
8. How to open a PayPal account
Because you can at least try to charge people.
9. You can do no wrong!
It’s always other people who are wrong. This chapter contains self-empowering mantras such as “I’m not listening I’m not listening I’m not listening I’m not listening I’m not listening I’m not listening” and “fuck you!
fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! fuck you!”

Praise for Resonating Resonance

“hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, alloooooooow yourself to purchos…no, purcheese, no….eh, by dis book!”
- Clinton Doherty.
“It’s a lovely book, bra! : ) : ) : )”
- Besimi the Greek
“Statistics show that this book will be very popular”
- Tony Balony

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Permalink Reply by ilikepies on June 26, 2009 at 9:45pm

haha

"Learn how to quickly jolt down an e-book in a few hours so you can move on to something that’s more fun, like making a trailer for your e-book."

and

“Statistics show that this book will be very popular”


both made me lol

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Permalink Reply by Tab on June 26, 2009 at 10:59pm

SOME GREAT SUBMISSIONS GUISE

Just to show you I'm not messing around in this game I'm gonna show you the prize:

THERE CAN ONLY BE 1 WINNER

Namaste
Love & Light

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Permalink Reply by Jesus Cries on June 28, 2009 at 7:16am

LMAO great entries guys. I would write my own but i'm too busy LMAO. All great submissions but I think Ben takes the caek.

“hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, alloooooooow yourself to purchos…no, purcheese, no….eh, by dis book!”
- Clinton Doherty.

XD!! that is GOLD

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